aBigForehead

I'm not one to generalise however I'm now sure of one thing- men are suckers for a woman's help. And I'm a sucker for helping.

Example No 45,787

Location- 2am Dubai airport - the two line queue is a sea of heaving trolleys and blatant queue jumping; wait there IS no queue really. Man after man tries to jump in ahead of me clanging into my trolley, my feet and my patience. 
When I realise they won't stop I go into traffic warden mode and stick an arm out shouting STOP. What's really great about this technique is that it works, over and over. They stop dead in their best suits(isn't that soo 1979? travelling in your best?) and stare back at me. They complain to one another in their mother tongue. I care little, I want to get on that plane!

One guy appears almost out of nowhere, though I am certain he has sullied a few well-polished shoes and scraped a few suitcases along the way. I look at him incredulously.

Excuse me.
He looks my way.
There are TWO queues.
Blank stare
And you're not in EITHER of them.
Looks away

An older Somali couple appears behind me. While in conversation the man loses his spot behind me to jostling suits and trolleys.  I jabber in Somali. Adeer, don't lose your spot. Every now and again I look behind to make sure he's not being overwhelmed.

We scan the bags and on the other side I grab two trolleys, one for the man who has now lost the woman(she wasn't on the flight) and one for me. He helps me with my bags. At check-in he asks if I'll watch his hand luggage for him as he has to get something sorted out. He says he doesn't want to bother me. I am addicted to helping. My mind quickly considers watching a stranger's bag in an airport and says Yes.

Mhm.

It gets better.

Wait.

While he runs off to do what he has to I stand well away from his bags and keep an eye on them casually.

My body language is bags, what bags, I just happen to be standing here. If anybody asks if they're mine I'll say no and say a big Somali left it there and make no mention of my stupid compulsion to give the  benefit of the doubt to everything that defecates.

Soon and not soon enough for I am by then considering going on with my journey he returns and thanks me. He rejoins the queue and I make my way.

This is where it gets really good.

Location: the other side of customs
state of mind: unguarded and oblivious

The big, bald Somali man in short long trousers(u know the ones) finds me again. While we walk on the moving floors he asks about this and that. This and that being me and my life.

He mentions he's a wadaad. I don't care. I don't care that I don't care; it doesn't register in any particular way until later when he asks, 'Wadaadada ma ka hesha?'. (Do you like wadaads?)

No to be honest.

You would think that would shake off big, bald Somali.

Why he asks.

Wey dumar badan yahiin(they have a lot of women).

For the next God knows how long we have a conversation about wadaads, multiple wives, deceit, family abandonment, the comparison of a good many-wived man and a bad single man as marriage prospects and what-not.

I get the feeling he wants to 'convert' me. I also start to get the feeling he's enjoying my conversation. Me and my big mouth I think for the 45,787th time.

Where's the blooming gate? How big is this airport?

Phew, finally Gate 10, except the flight's going to Beijing! They've changed the gate and there is to be more walking with the big guy tagging along.

Finally, quite directly he asks what about it.

What about what?

Well, we've started talking already why not continue.

Not interested.

I say it matter of factly and without cushioning.

Big Somali guy has thick skin. Read on.

He asks me what I look for in a man(cue travel nausea before boarding). So when I tell you you can pretend to be those things?

I(with emphasis on the I) am a man of God!
And what are the rest of us? Why do you separate yourself from the rest of us?
It is the rest of you that label us.
Wasn't it you that introduced yourself as a wadaad?
Yes.

How big is this airport!?

Close to the new gate, he says, 'Waxaasi hadal ma aha eh si wacan noola hadal.'

Some people don't know how good they have it until you take it away on a moving Dubai airport floor without looking back.

Next time. Example no 45,788. Location: London bus stop only 4 days after landing, state of mind: forgotten example no 45,787. Already.

I'm a sucker.